Beyond the Bucket List

‘Regrets are just choices we didn’t make.’

I have noticed we only tend to have regrets when life isn’t going well when the sun is shining the lotto balls are dropping in our favor and laughter fills the air we conclude all the right choices were made. When our expectations in regards to how our life should look like aren’t met then we have regrets.

Regrets aren’t terribly useful you can’t do anything with them except make yourself miserable. No one can guarantee a different choice way back then would have changed the way your life turned out maybe all pathways were leading to the same destination. And I might ask what in your life would you be prepared to give up your children your friends your partner because there is no way of knowing if these people would have been part of your life had you chose a different pathway.

Regrets haunt some people all of their lives the could have,might have,should have syndrome. I notice when I focus on my regrets it conveniently takes me away from the moment I am in and negates any need to make further choices. Funny that. It is far easier to have regrets than to make plans, easier to rue all the things I might or could have done then to actually do something.

I wish I didn’t have a need to berate myself for all the choices I made that in hindsight turned out differently than expected. At the time I am sure I didn’t make them thinking if I do this my life will be shitty.

Maybe I want to hang onto the regrets because at least they give me the illusion if different choices had been made my life would have been different. They give me a ‘might have’ and if I hang on to the might have I never have to face it’s opposite ‘might never be’. I know it is not the most logical way of thinking but when you are running from your life you will cling to anything in an attempt to avoid taking responsibility.

Regrets I know are going to pop up every now and then. I wish I had done this said this. Well fact is you didn’t and you cannot go back and change it. I have this theory if you need to say it say it now, if you need to do it do it now because now is all we have. If we really understood the concept of our mortality really got the fact this moment may be the last one we are given then suddenly the priority list would turn into a bucket list.

I do not want my headstone to read:

I regret I spent my life regretting what I didn’t do….having never actually done anything.