Great expectations

I would challenge anyone to announce “I have no expectations.” There may be a few Zen Masters who proclaim freedom from such things but most of us although we deny it carry an expectation or two in our pockets.

I had the opportunity recently to travel back to my native land after an absence of five years and went believing I took no expectations with me. My New Age thoughts gave me the illusion I was immune to such things. I was wrong. Things did not go as I thought they would people did not act as I had hoped they would and at that moment I came face to face with hidden expectations.

You can spot an expectation because it is usually accompanied by anticipation and often followed by disappointment. It leaves you with a ‘what now’ taste in your mouth. Sometimes expectations are the result of how we want the world and people to be our little girl/boy inner child fantasy. Sometimes we have played out the scenario in our heads already know the outcome and start planning our acceptance speech. Sometimes our ego prevents us from seeing any other possibility but that which we believe we deserve.

It is easy to get hung up on expectations or to get defensive,angry and disappointed when they are not met. I wish I was a Zen Master not a mere mortal because expectations at times suck. But there are lessons to be learnt here such as:

• 1. Speak your mind because very few people can read it this avoids need expectations.
• 2. Be flexible and open to change this avoids situation expectations.
• 3. Be happy with who you are never look to another to fill your cup that is your responsibility this avoids people expectations.
• 4. Expect to have expectations.

Just a little side note here expectations rarely go anywhere without their sidekick assumptions. We assume we know people how they will react what they will do in given situations and then we walk ahead with a pocketful of expectations based on those assumptions. I don’t think it is realistic to believe you can travel this earth without having an expectation or two. But maybe we can leave the assumptions behind on the next trip and see what develops. Me I think I am going to finally admit I know nothing because when you know nothing it is hard to have expectations about anything.